Dolphins Actually Enjoy Plastic Six Pack Rings
WATER, CALIFORNIA - In a recent interview with Eeeeple, Dolphin President Oaaa Junprathi quelled long-standing rumors about his people’s opinion of plastic six pack rings, calling the myths, “misguided and unfounded.”
“The humans are correct when they say the rings are killer — killer to eat, am I right?” which, untranslated, sounds like the noise when you breathe in through your nose when you have a runny cold.
“The only ring-related deaths occurred with plastics from low-class sodas, like RC, or…or Pepsi,” the 390th Dolphin President said, just months after losing a deal at the last minute with PepsiCo to secure the world’s remaining Crystal Pepsi resources.
“If anything, I think we need to eat more plastic. Shit’s gourmet,” he said, after more serious translation.
These statements come very shortly after President Junprathi’s controversial “chicken of the sea,” comment about the Atlantic Tuna. This one-two punch could spell impeachment for the Puerto Rico native.
